As a mental health professional I - like you - am dealing as best I can with our current health crisis: the coronavirus (COVID-19).
As with any crisis, people will naturally experience heightened emotional reactions. And the levels of height (or not) are due to - as always - the way one evaluates the crisis. Each of us has a unique, yet characteristic way of perceiving life and this then impacts how one tends to automatically think, feel and behave in response. All of us have strengths and weaknesses in our thinking styles. All of us can improve and all of us need support to be our best.
I know for myself I've already been all over the map. I've not felt panicky however, as a health care professional I am told that I am probably more sensitive to 'danger' than the general population. That was borne out in the last couple of weeks when I was 'sounding the alarm' with family and friends who were still in what I would call the stage of denial.
Then there were those in the media - those whose words matter more than the rest of us - using this crisis to stir real hate, such as the FOX News woman who was suspended after sharing that she thought the virus' impact was being exaggerated to hurt current president Donald Trump and his chances at re-election. Truth be told, there was also a story on the other side of the aisle: that Trump was purposely slowing down recognition of the virus' virulence to try and salvage the economy or his re-election.
Given the variety of media we can tap into in today's world, it remains extra important for each of us, as individuals, and as employees and heads of families to find ways of remaining emotionally resilient as we cope with all that is happening and is to come.
So just what is 'the sweet spot' when responding rationally to COVID-19?
I believe as is resilient coping to most crises in life, finding a 'sweet spot' or a 'middle ground' on this issue is essential. So just what does that look like?
We mustn't over-react. Nor would we want to under-react. We must find a balanced, rational, middle ground or as it's called in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) a 'Wise Mind' approach to coronavirus. Where we reduce or eliminate our anxious or panicky feelings (which tend to result from automatic negative thoughts) as a result of thinking more rationally.
Today I felt the burnout of the cause seeping in. Now burnout, or what I'm calling 'coronavirus fatigue', is under-reaction to the possible ramifications of what is going on. It's not the same as a basic under reaction like many who are not changing their behavior much and are thinking 'this is probably no big deal'.
Burnout is something we will have to monitor as we go through this process, which could take many weeks. Meaning: We must remain vigilant enough.
But some have already had an 'over the top' response to the virus. They are hoarding great amounts of household supplies and food items. And anti-bacterial products. Me, I think - at least on this issue - I've been mostly balanced in my response. I haven't bought any new anti-bacterial gel because I always carry some in my car for use when I am in public. When I'm home or in my office I use - as suggested - basic soap and water. I haven't purchased anything extra in toilet paper, just a bit more water and, the other day I had the thought to get some bread and pancake mix to make two of my favorite breakfasts if I'm going to be stuck at home: french toast and pancakes (not at the same time of course). Then I had to stop in a store the next night because I'd forgotten to get some bacon! So I know, for me, I'll have to be careful to keep in balance on eating well during this more stressful than usual time.
How about hand washing? Are you over or under handling this one? I learned over 25 years ago how to wash my hands properly when I worked on an NIA (National Institute of Aging) research project in graduate school. The setting was a nursing home. And I've had 'refreshers' over the years while working in hospital settings. Do you have any education on hand washing? Click here to see what the CDC suggests. To be honest, because I'm always so busy, I tend to under wash so I've got to spend a bit more time on this one.
I am staying home a lot more. My pickleball programs - all inside - are all cancelled. But we're all conniving how to get some outdoor play going. Small groups of course! I've stayed away from my elderly parents but I call them about every other day. I have three sisters and lots of nieces and nephews and they are calling them too. Mom said today she feels extra special cared for right now. In fact, just a couple of days earlier it was getting on their nerves as both and mom and dad are very proud and able 80 and 81 year olds! Interesting that now they are starting to perhaps 'get used to it' and, actually like it.
I'm trying like the Dickens to get my face-to-face clients to switch to video, so far with only small success! Right now I have about two thirds in person and one third video clients so this is quite an issue. All of this is understandable and I must be patient: I am hand holding and dropping bread crumbs to help lead them to the promised land!
Tonight, it was very helpful to understand - by listening to an expert Dr. Sanjay Gupta on CNN - that current attempts by authorities to aggressively separate us in a process called 'social distancing' is NOT a sign things are hopeless or 'gone too far'. Instead, given research, this IS the time to get aggressive so that the virus can't get a foothold in the population. Much more realistic and hopeful, don't you think?
Okay, so are you starting to get my point? On this issue of the corona virus, there are dozens of ways you are expressing what you are thinking about it. So take some time to start delving in to what you are really saying to yourself - inside yourself - about the illness. You know, the thoughts you often don't want to share with others, because you assume others can't handle it. Or because you don't want others to know your less loving or less brave thoughts.
Well I'm here to tell you all of them are okay. What's 'normal' in terms of reactions right now has widened. However, what you do about what you are thinking is just as important if not more so.
We need to be gentle with ourselves and others right now, more so than ever. All of us are struggling to understand just what is going on. That's why they call this thing novel. There is much we don't still know but we need to trust that there ARE experts out there we can listen to, to help. Just be careful who you define as an expert. And find a 'sweet spot' on being a know it all on this one too. You know some, but there's a lot you still don't know.
So be open to the advice of experts. What, you have an issue with experts? Well now, that's something we need to discuss. I'm going to take a 'no tolerance' stand here. Let me tell you: it's such a shame when I see people 'shaming' experts. Who loses most in this situation? You! Experts got to be called experts because a lot of hard work, believe you and me. If you discard their advice because you see them as 'elite' you do so at your peril. You are dissing them because of a thought inside of you, not because of them. That is something for us to explore. And in the mean time don't share it (or find a Facebook group that commiserates on that level).
More to come in my next post on cognitive biases, how they interact with coronavirus as well as how to counter them...
